I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
