tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
