You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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