i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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