where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
