I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
