whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
