Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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