Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
