Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
