Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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