after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
