It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
