Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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