I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
