Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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