i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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