just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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