her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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