he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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