Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
