I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
