One girl and one boy is just not enough.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
