dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize