just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
