You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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