ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
