Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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