I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
