Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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