You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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