You work out of a Hotel?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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