Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
