but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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