i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
