as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
