No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
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