when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize