So drunk, too bad you don't want this
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize