i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
