I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
