I want you more than these girls want KFC
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
