I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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