An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
