nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize