Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
