i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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