9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize