i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
