Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
