did you get engaged???
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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