I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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