If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
