Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
