Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize