This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
